This post is to inform my loyal readers that I intend to bring back the sauce for your reading pleasure.  Whether or not you believe me is entirely up to you.  So look forward to lots of posts about crazy stuff, or don’t.  Again, your decision.

Peace, love, and saucey-ness

Tomzilla

I have been asked to make a bloggingsauce entry about space.  Although I never really intended to make an outerspace blog entry, I feel obligated having made a bottle of sauce for it.  The request was made by none other than the great and powerful Murph-master himself.  Here is his website, murphy365.com.  You can find lots of cool photos of things like rivers and creatures thought to be extinct.  Such as this picture of a Croccoon…

I hear rumors that he does private parties. I’m getting off track.  The point of this entry is supposed to be about space.  The only downfall is I don’t know anything about space unless I’m in the “right frame of mind”.  Kind of like that guy in the hit NBC show Heroes who can draw the future when he’s on heroin.  Right?  Ok, so what I’m going to do is go “prepare myself”, wait 10 minutes, and come back and tell all you fine readers what space is like.  Ready?  Break.

(13 minutes elapse)

Space Travel:  Important Rules and Things of that Nature

Space Rules

The most important thing to know before going into space is that you cannot breathe there.  I really cannot stress that enough.  Upon your arrival into space, you should make sure you have plenty of earth air and water.  You have to bring your own water into space because there isn’t any there (and if there is, it probably isn’t very good).  Also remember that anything you bring into space must be brought back with you.  Not only is littering in outerspace a $50 fine, but your trash may enter the Earth’s orbit and take out a village or three.  And the last, and most important, rule while in space is… HAVE FUN! 

Places to be in the Galaxy

The number one hot spot in recent years is the moon.  However, the moon has become way too crowded with planetary tourists, so I suggest planning an alternate destination.  I don’t think anyone has really gotten further than the moon quite yet, so good luck with that.

Q&A:

Are there any aliens in space?
Yes there are.  Lots of ‘em.

How do you get to space?
Up.

There’s a lot of balloons in space from people letting them go, accidentally or otherwise.  Is that an accurate statement?
No, I think they probably pop before that.

Have you ever been to space?
 
January 7th, 2007

What happens when you fart in a space suit?
You explode.Are there croccoons in space?
There are about 7 of them.

What does Outerspace Sauce taste like?
Uranus

Guitar Hero II is coming to the Xbox 360 and will have 10 totally new tracks in addition to the original PS2 version.  The new tracks are:

Theres a chance the Xbox version will include online multiplayer mode, as well as the ability to download the complete track list from Guitar Hero I.

So if you don’t have an xbox 360 you should probably go out and get one. 
ROCK SAUCE!!!

I guess the only way I will ever get my ass in gear with this bloggingsauce.com is by adding reoccurring columns.  I will try to update it every Monday or Tuesday to keep you coming back.  Think of it as adding some crack to the sauce.  I introduce to you…

Album of the Week!

This week’s album seems to have been all but forgotten these days since the only way to find an alternative station in the Philadelphia area is by paying for it.  It ranks at 162 on Rolling Stones’ “Top 500 Albums” list and sold 1.9 million copies.  The first official bloggingsauce.com album of the week is…

OK Computer
Radiohead

Track List:

1. “Airbag” – 4:44
2. “Paranoid Android” – 6:23
3. “Subterranean Homesick Alien” – 4:27
4. “Exit Music (For a Film)” – 4:24
5. “Let Down” – 4:59
6. “Karma Police” – 4:22
7. “Fitter Happier” – 1:57
8. “Electioneering” – 3:51
9. “Climbing Up the Walls” – 4:45
10. “No Surprises” – 3:49
11. “Lucky” – 4:20
12. “The Tourist” – 5:25

Review:
Own it.

Rating:
4.5 out of 5 bottles of sauce

Lest you think that Bloggingsauce.com is one-sided… I present to you the last great moment in Giants vs. Eagles history. Yeah, you may think that the Brian Westbrook punt-return-for-TD in ‘03 or Plaxico-OT-TD earlier this season was better, or, if you’re real old school, you may even think that the classic “Miracle at the Meadowlands” (damn you Joe Pisarcik!!) was the last great moment… but if that’s what you think I suggest you get your own website because I disagree!!

While I must confess that visions of Jeff Garcia in the playoffs haunt my nightmares to this very day (this is why), I remain confident (or bat-shit insane, depending on your perspective) that the Giants can win on Sunday. Cocky Eagles fans and cocky Giants fans will do many a battle before 4 PM on Sunday, but I will not be involved because I am sick and I hate mouthing off about my team unless it’s New Year’s Eve and I’m drunk on South Street in Philly.

A few things worth noting… the New York Football Giants are 2-0 against the Philadelphia Not The Kind That Shits on Your Head Eagles in the playoffs, defeating the Eagles in Philly in 1981 (the year after the Eagles lost in the Super Bowl with “Tricky” Dick Vermeil and Ron “I Love to Break Down Game Film” Jaworski) and in East Rutherford in 2000 (a game which I attended and witnessed perhaps the greatest interception I have ever seen, completed by Jason Sehorn). All of this of course means jack shit because it’s 2007 and all of those dudes are nowhere near the field. Oh well, here’s to hoping that I can still be friends with all of my friends after Sunday.

The Bad News:  Sports Illustrated is an evil, evil magazine that curses whoever is on the cover.  Oh, and it happens to be based out of New York.  Conspiracy?

The Good News:  The Giants are 8-8 and hobbled.  The Eagles are division champs, have a five game win streak, and are 6.5 point favorites.  Now Eagles fans have an excuse if they lose.

The Ugly News:  Have you seen Jeff Garcia? 

Age of Winters by The Sword

Bloggingsauce.com certainly thinks there is a serious lack of hard rockin’, ass kicklin’ bands out there in the world today. Are you in a continual hunt for great new music, because you’re convinced there has to be something somewhere? Well leave it to Guitar Hero II and Bloggingsauce.com to point your attention to a band out of Austin, TX called The Sword. It’s safe to say this album will leave you with not only your socks rocked off, but pretty much your entire wardrobe. So be warned: try not to go out in public while listening to this album.

Well now that Blogging Sauce is up and running, it is important to know where the sauce stands on the issues that will be presented in the future.  The following is a list comprised of the greatest things the world has to offer in each of the categories represented in our sauce compilation.

Beer:

The best readily available beer in the world.  The day you order a Guinness, is the day you become an actual beer drinker.  Most people complain about Guinness by saying ”It’s too filling” or “Blah blah blah”, but the fact is these people just do not have the capacity to appreciate the finest brew ever to be brewed.  How much Miller Lite can you drink before you say to yourself, “Hmmm, this tastes like piss flavored piss”?  So be a man, or a really cool chick, and order yourself Guinnesses until you like them.  It is the fuel that drives the sauce.

also considered: Sam Adams, Newcastle, Victory Old Horizontal 

Sports:

Football.  Get out of my face with that other crap.

also considered: nothing!

Babes:

She knows more about sports than you.  Shes hotter than anyone you know.  She is Erin Andrews, and she is the reason you turn on TV.

also considered: your mom, Melissa Stark (3 years ago), Jennifer Ellison

Outerspace:

Well, I’m not really sure whats so great about outerspace.  Honestly, I have never even been there.  I would like to think that somewhere in space, there is a planet where everyone is Erin Andrews, and that I will someday accidentally stumble upon it during my space travels.  Would that get old?  That is one thing I would want to find out.  Sorry, I got myself thinking about Erin Andrews again…

also considered: innerspace

Work:

Unlike outerspace, work is something I have experienced.  After long hours in an office, yard, or kitchen, I have decided that work is completely overrated and nobody should do it. 

Also considered (while at work): kick to the balls, death

Rock: